Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Tomorrow will be 3 weeks since Jesse's Birth Day. I must think of him a hundred times a day-some thought are of total love and awe, while some are full of sadness so deep I can't even believe it is MY life-my son.
Last week Dan and I drove to Riverside Hospital in Columbus to bring Jesse home. We woke that morning not knowing how are emotions would hold for the day. As we drove up, we spoke little, we both had so much going through our heads. The last time we had drove to Columbus it was because it was Jesse's Birth Day. And now, it was the day we would be able to bring him home. I was unsure who I would react to seeing a little box with his ashes inside. Dan and I fold so much peace it the task at hand. We left the hospital on January 27th with nothing except our bags and on February 10th we got to take him home. His small box was wrapped in the softest cotton I have felt. I just wanted to hold onto it forever. I somehow found acceptance and some peace knowing that his body was no more, that HE IS INDEED with God in Heaven, that we had our baby Jesse again.

The past 3 weeks have been a blur of activity and of silence. How do you have both in the same moments-I believe it is called grief! When a person losses a child it is like nothing else. It hurts so much differently.

Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever

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