I ask how could it possible be 14 days since we said hello and good-bye to our son. I thought time was standing still and yet somehow we have managed to survive the past 14 days. It was this time 2 weeks ago we sat in Columbus with Pitocin dripping into my veins waiting for the arrival of our baby. I had no way of knowing what this "side" of the journey would look like or feel like. It is like nothing I have ever experienced! Deep sadness that goes beyond words, as though the only thing keeping you from melting onto the floor in a puddle is the clothes I am wearing. It is all consuming, so powerful, and at times so lonely!
I try to remember me feeling Jesse, smelling him, holding his little fingers to force myself past the sadness and sorrow and remember that he was our son whom we loved and HE LOVED US!